Today marks a milestone in my life’s journey. It is a truly remarkable occasion. I thought it would never get here. I hoped and prayed it would never get here. Surely I would never fall victim to the favorite pastime of the Geritol set, the daily highlight of the blue hair, the last stop before the nursing home. Yes friends, it’s true…today I went mall walking!
I’m pretty sure my wife hate’s mall walkers. Lori is what I would call a serious shopper. If it were an Olympic sport she would have been Gold Medaling for at least 20 years. People at work regularly check her out to see what shoes she is wearing or what outfit she has on. Whatever you do, don’t mess with her when she is on a shopping mission. Mall walkers are like left lane drivers who hold up traffic…she has no patience for your folly old man!
What’s really embarrassing about my experience today is that there was a gentlemen walking in front of me who was at least 15-20 years my senior, obviously suffering from some debilitating condition in his legs, as he was using walking sticks to propel himself along the way…and he left me in his wake!
Yeah, I know, I’m sporting the sick and homeless look as I haven’t shaved since the surgery. After dropping 20 pounds I’ve got so much loose skin on my neck I’m afraid to get a razor anywhere near it! Least of my worries right now. Eating is the top priority according to my wife. And whatever she says goes at this point because I’m highly confident that right now she could kick my ass!
I’ve been able to manage one cup of coffee per day so far without any repercussions, so that’s good news. I’m not allowed to sample any alcohol for another week or so. If that doesn’t go well I’m going to have to host a “come drink my craft beer” party! Hasn’t stopped me from planning to be in line in the morning for Founder’s KBS release though. Call it faith.