Is It Over Yet?

Let me be clear about one thing: I hate winter! No, I loathe winter! If it comes down to choosing between walking on a bed of hot coals or having a long, cold winter, I will take my chances with the coals. Is that clear enough? Some people love winter weather, but I’m not one of them. Here’s why:

1. It’s cold. Yeah, I know, I’m no Einstein. Just stating the obvious. And the obvious is cold weather and I don’t get along. Cold weather is strange. It can be 23 degrees but sunny and you think, “Ah, this isn’t too bad.” But it can be 34 degrees, cloudy, gray and damp and you can say, “I’m freezing my ass off!” The weird thing is that I am hot natured. My wife says I am like sleeping with a stovepipe. I’m a natural heater. I even shut the vents off in our bedroom in the winter. I remember one year I turned on a thermocouple I had purchased for a roaster while my wife and I were in our bedroom. It said, “54 degrees.” She said, “I told you you could see your breath in here!” I think she is still mad about that. Nonetheless, I will take 90 over 30 any day of the week.

2. Winter is ugly. “But what about Christmas lights?”  Tacky. “But what about snow?” Sure, it starts out pure and pretty. But give it a few days and it becomes nothing more than a gray, ugly lump of ice. And its cold, and wet and you can’t get good traction…and your motorcycle will fall down if you aren’t careful. There are no leaves on the trees. No green grass, no flowers…just gray…and gray is boring…and depressing. Bah Humbug!

3. I have to wear to much clothes. Don’t get me wrong; I’m out of shape and am happy to hide my overindulgence with a sweatshirt or sweater, but I hate having to wear layers. If I’m not riding my bike, I prefer shorts, t-shirts and flip flops.

4. Winter riding requires too much prep work. Yeah, I know, now I just sound lazy. This is sort of an “effort vs reward” dilemma. I have logged quite a few miles in the winter over the years and I have plenty of gear to get the job done. However, to really enjoy winter riding requires a fair amount of preparation. First, you have to layer properly, then suit up in your riding gear, most likely wearing a heated jacket underneath. If you don’t have a bike with a Miata sized windshield then you might have to wear a baclava under your helmet. Heated grip, gloves or both are required. By the time you are done, you feel like Randy from “A Christmas Story” when he said, “I can’t put my arms down!” It takes 20 minutes to get ready for a 30 minute ride and by the time you walk out of the house you are exhausted and sweating more than as if you just returned from a trip to the gym. I’m not a fair weather rider…but I don’t have a very good winter bike right now so I’m going to be bitchy about it.

5. It lasts too long. I swear Winter lasts twice as long as any other season. I just want to hibernate like a bear; crawl into bed, pull the covers up over my head and not come out until Spring. I’m not a good “couch sitter.” I like to be active. I like to be moving and doing. In the winter I become lethargic. I don’t want to go outside. My blood goes from 10W-30 to 90 weight gear oil. IMG_0279

I can only think of two good things about winter: we consume more coffee…and it makes Florida seem like paradise. See you in the Spring!

Later,

Shep

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3 thoughts on “Is It Over Yet?

  1. When it comes to the weather I think you and Jennifer are on the same page. Jennifer and I finally got our foster license. We received an e-mail from DCS today asking if we would be interesting in meeting a 6 year old for a possible adoption. Thanks to you and Lori for helping to make it happen. Also, I’m about out of coffee, could you ship me another 5lbs. of green beans? We received a picture Christmas card from Nic and Kristin yesterday. Wow, how Aston has grown. It seems like yesterday that I was holding him at Cailin’s wedding and he peed on me…lol.

    Brian

    Brian Allman

    Allman Brothers Termite & Pest Control 3839 E. Anderson Rd. Bloomington, In 47408 allmanpestcontrol@yahoo.com

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