What a Wife!

I spent a few hours on Saturday walking around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, enjoying the sights and sounds of Moto GP. I forgot to bring my good camera, but I snapped a few phone photos of bikes and other randomness. As most of you probably know, these types of events also have their share of attractive young ladies wearing very little clothing. There are umbrella girls, pit girls, fashion show models and any other excuse  that can be drummed up to justify the experience. I was walking through the infield when this young lady walked into my path.


She was trying to encourage people to visit a particular booth across the lawn. I snapped the photo then immediately sent it to my wife with the statement, “I’m behaving.” Now, of course, I’m an old man and I have 3 daughters who are all probably older than this young lady, so my wife knows there are no worries. However, you know what her return text said? “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t!” What? Wait! Who did I send that text to? My friend Matt? My buddy Amine? Surely not my wife. I did a double take and sure enough, it was my wife. I immediately thought, “What the heck?” That is not the sort of thing a wife is supposed to say. She is supposed to get all huffy and say, “Watch it buster!” I suppose it means one of two things: 1. She knows I am going to behave, 2. She is one great wife!

I believe the correct answer is both. I am going to behave and I do have a great wife. This all reminds me of a trip we took a couple years ago to South Beach. We got a hotel near the beach, put on our suits and headed for the water. Once we arrived I immediately remembered something. South Beach is unofficially clothing optional. I was immediately surrounded by dozens of topless young ladies. Lori and I looked at each other, shrugged and sat down. It looked like we were the only two people on the beach who were not current or former models. Everyone was perfect. I would love to describe for you one particular scene we witnessed, but I will refrain for fear that this blog will turn out sounding like a page from the Penthouse Forum! I will share another one with you though. There was a young woman and her boyfriend seated directly across from me. She was topless. So was he. Somewhere along the way she decided she wanted to change bathing suits, well, bottoms anyway. So, right there in front of God, some homeless dude and me, she skinnied out of the bottoms, grabbed another pair and pulled then on. Uhmm! Well, uh, anyway…. Where was I? Oh yeah, my wonderful wife. So I guess by day 3 I was getting used to all this and chose to stay at the hotel while my wife went to the beach. A few minutes later I get a text message saying “You have to come to the beach and see this woman. She has a perfect chest!” Really, she said that. I’m not making it up. My wife is texting me, telling me I have to come look at another woman’s naked chest. What did I do? What do you think I did? I am, after all, an obedient husband. I headed straight for the beach. The woman was gone when I got there, but Lori described her in such detail that I recognized her from the day before…and yes, she was right…perfect…my wife that is!




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