The Worst Coffee

As I mentioned in a recent blog, when I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is go through the ritual of making my morning coffee. I am very lucky in that I am surrounded by some very fresh and high quality coffees to choose from. I have dozens of brewing devices from which to decide, all touted as bringing out the best in the bean. Not so this morning.  I’m sitting at a hotel room desk back in my hometown. I did not bring any coffee nor any device to brew with.

I headed downstairs and grabbed a cup of this: photo (8)I am drinking this cup right now as I type and, surprisingly, it is not that bad. Now, let’s be clear, it is no Ethiopian Yirgacheffee Konga Natural, but it is drinkable. In fact, I have had much, much worse coffee.

A few years ago, my daughter and I flew to Florida a day ahead of my wife. We arrived at the Fort Myers airport late, grabbed a rental and headed to Naples. We were both starving and by the time we made it into town, the only thing open was McDonald’s. We pulled into the drive thru and placed our orders. I asked for an unsweetened tea. The entire order process was difficult, with the employee seemingly struggling with her job. When we pulled up to the window, we could see her preparing our drinks. Now, I don’t know what was wrong with the poor woman; maybe she was experiencing a very bad day. Maybe she had inhaled more than the allowable fast food grease before one’s mind is impacted an insanity takes over. Maybe she was experimenting with hallucinogenic mushrooms. Maybe she just thought it would be funny, but we sat there and watched her put tea in my cup, then stop, grab a coffee pot and fill the rest of the cup with coffee! She then turned to the window and handed me the cup. A little confused, I reached out, took the cup, sniffed it, looked at her, handed it back and said, “You just put coffee in my cup of tea!.” Her response? “Oh.” That’s it. Nothing else. That, my friend, was the worst cup of coffee I ever had. And that is why I usually bring a jet boil, a pour-over or an Aeropress and some good coffee on every road trip…a practice I intend to continue until someone figures out how to ensure that every fast food employee knows how to tell the difference between coffee and tea.DSC_0001Later,




2 thoughts on “The Worst Coffee

  1. While half asleep one morning, I decided to finally try this “Absinthe” flavored coffee we found. I filled the press with coffee, water and let it set. When the timer went off, I poured a big cup, added a dash of sugar and took a drink. As the “coffee” hit my tongue, both my eyes and mouth were attacked with a vile, sour and acidic taste. Now, fully awake, I realized what I had done. My wife had put some vinegar and water into the kettle to clean out the deposits. I thought she had left me a nice pot of fresh water to make coffee. Oops.

    It took me a while to be able to drink coffee again and the smell of vinegar still brings back the taste.

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